June 08, 2005
I’m sitting in the mall at the moment. I work at the mall by the way, at a bookstore where I sign people up for our e-mail list and sell chocolate frogs. I’m here early, as I usually am when I have to come in at 5:00 pm. I’m only working to 10:00 which is pretty cool, I enjoy the 5 hour shift, and I like having a few hours before I have to be there to get shit done, although today all I’ve accomplished was watching two episodes of Buffy, and eating lunch.
I was hoping I’d be able to glom onto an unsecured wireless network here at the mall and do some work on the website but no such luck. Apparently the mall is hip to network security. So that’s why I have my laptop here, usually I come in , get a coffee and read but I figured if I couldn’t use the internet I might as well start on this blog. Which basically means I’m not going to get any farther in the book I’m reading. I’m almost guaranteed not to get any reading done at home thanks that coy little vampire slayer and her good looking friends.
My friend Collin is letting me borrow the first and second season and I would be lying if said I wasn’t completely addicted to that show. It’s like a drug, a very good looking drug. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to have had to have waited a week for the next episode, and then having to wait for the next season to start must have been unbearable. There is something fabulous about being able to enter into this type of epic entertainment immersion, I’m ingesting months worth of television in the space of days.
I did a similar thing with Twin Peaks, my friend Sue and I watched the pilot episode, the entire first season, and the movie in the space of 24 hours. Very cool but at the same time kind of unsettling. It was a lot of David Lynch to handle at one time.
I’m sitting here trying to think of something to write about other than television shows, and it’s rather hard. I looked around the mall for a little while trying to come up with something new to write about but my mind just started playing Magnum P.I. episodes.
Blargdigirapitapi! Toorapturandeflarp!
Just trying to clear my head.
I keep getting distracted by booty. So much of it keeps walking by! This mall is den of frustration.
I could use another cup of coffee, but I fear I’m flat broke, spent the last of my money on a sumptuous pepperoni calzone. It was worth it, what a grand calzone it was. I ate the rest of it today as I was watching Buffy. And now we have come full circle. All roads lead back to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I’ve even totally ignored my season of Playstation baseball, which is almost unfathomable. I was thirty two games ahead in the AL East and was on a thirty game winning streak. It would be tragic if my team lost it’s momentum. Good thing it’s not real.
What other pointless information shall I spew forth? It is impossible to lick your own elbow! Go ahead and try. It’s fun to tell a group of people that and then watch them all try at once. I’ve tried on several occasions and it really does appear to be impossible. I’m afraid the only way you’re going to get your elbow licked is by someone else, or if you’re Gene Simmons, and if you are Gene Simmons I implore you to listen to my music and then get me a record deal. Thanks.
I still have a half hour and I am running out of things to write about, I would like to discuss something a little more profound, like the state of monkey health care, or the ratio of green to red M&M’s per bag. What’s the… sorry got distracted by female mall traffic again. There was a brief moment when it didn’t let up. Is Dolf Lundgren ever going to make another movie? These are serious questions. The world needs more Dolf Lundgren films, and a new Robocop movie wouldn’t be bad either. What the world doesn’t need is Paris Hilton, any more Cathy comics, and re-runs of Charles in Charge.
What’s the deal with Paris Hilton anyway. I just don’t understand the fascination there. She’s a talentless whore who made a shitty porn film, that somehow improved her reputation, whose only real skill is being a spoiled bitch. I could really care less. I’d rather watch a reality show about Mr. T. That would be great television. It would be like that other show with the stupid rich whore, cameras could just follow Mr. T. throughout his day, it would be fascinating. What does Mr. T. do all day? I mean really.
I would also like to be president or at least in a position to make some very important and pretentious people feel extremely foolish. I’d like to interrupt Rush Limbaugh’s radio feed and play old Howard Stern shows, Id like to give Larry Flint a Pulitzer, and I’d really like to punch Fred Durst in the face, though I’d take Sean Hannity as an alternate.
Ok, I guess that’s enough out of me.
Bye!
Posted by harold at June 8, 2005 06:49 PM